I have been fighting hallucinations of my parents past.

Carrying projections of iridescent shadows weighing heavy on my shoulders.

I have my very own armor to fight this war.

Is this even my war? I ask. And then continue to fight against my own knowing forcefully expected.

I must endure to exist as superficially there is no choice.

I have been fighting to survive since the moment needs were not met by damaged hearts.

While the trees, peripherally, drip with abundant nectar and blow wisdom into my frizzy curls.

I didn’t see them grounded, waiting patiently, in my blind spot nor did I hear their whispers as repressed emotions pushed smoky thoughts of lack, hiding the true perceptions.

I carried heavy sword-like thoughts and swung blindly with might at wounded people disguised as dragons also in search of depth and connection.

I charged ahead silently screaming loud chaotic and fearful vibrations- refusing to listen- desperate for meaning.

While fiords lay peacefully hidden within – welcoming rest.

I have been fighting hallucinations of my parents past.

Carrying projections of iridescent shadows weighing heavy on my shoulders.

I must endure to exist as superficially there is no choice.

I notice the exhaustion and heaviness on my breast. My brow is sweaty, my breath shallow.

The sun rises with descriptive codes as an invitation to lay down my sword and release my armor.

I breath deeply, without the constriction of a multidimensional burden

and the dream, weaves clear images of the sisterhood.

I feel empty as my eyes acclimate to the inner landscape while illusions melt away to reveal the vastness and depth of the sea.

All of time, I thought you, out there, must stop this war.

When eternally, the solution was in here.

There are those parts, in me, blinded by the world of conditions, devoid of my own free will. Fighting- to not be seen for shame but wanting to be seen intimately.

Paradoxically causing a lack of alignment with creation and its flowing.

I inner-stand there must be a surrender to the lightness and to the darkness. An acceptance of it All that exists within.

Ending the pretending to belong to the unconscious world not of my own making but maintained by my own abandonment.

I can feel into my body much more now. It is home to my souls greatness. I am held and I am beholden.

An invitation to conscious-ness and an inheritance of compassion.

Oh how painful is this release and how wonderfully freeing is the awareness as the war fizzles into nothingness and returns to wholeness.

The ceremony continues in whirling cycles of expanding and contracting shimmies to the notes of a never ending story of tears and joy.

In this moment- be free